Recently, I have been letting things that I do define who I am, instead of defining myself. I let people assume I am who I am because I do x,y and z. I think that is the key I have been missing in building relationships with people. I have been lacking a personal connection. I feel the need to prove myself to them, instead of letting them get to know me. I want them to see me in a certain light, mostly because I, in a way, fear their judgments, and I have been completely avoiding any other type of interaction.
I have realized because of this, I have been holding myself back from being able to be completely comfortable in my own skin here. I hold others as better than. I watch others do things and envy who they are without realizing the greatness of the things I do. Sometimes I need to step forward and be a strong confident person, knowing who I am and what I am capable of. Aside from that, I really need truly believe that instead of just pretending I do so others see me that way.
This whole time, it has been me. I have had the capability to change all this by simply seeing it in myself.
Things are going to happen as they will but at the end of the day I just need to be proud of what I've done, the decisions I make and the person I am. Though that, others will be able to do the same, I just have to let them.
So maybe, it's time for me to open up in a different way for people to accept me for all of the things that I am, to build relationships that go deeper than things we have common and maybe my little world will get a bit bigger.
Top Five...things that make me happy right now
1. My scarf
2. The flower on my desk
3. Tuesdays
4. My new room
5. Sara Barelles
whats yours...
5. getting all my homework done
4. cold/windy weather
3. random texts
2. skype
1. my best friend
Posted by: ... | January 26, 2010 at 11:47 PM