At this point, I don't think there are many people who haven't heard the term "Helicopter Parent" (a quick Google search yielded 3.3 million hits). There is, however, still a lot of debate on what exactly defines one and if having one--or being one--is a good thing or bad thing. [A quick thanks to Wikipedia for introducing me to the new, more extreme versions of helicopter parents: "Black Hawk" parents and "Lawnmower" parents!]
There seems to be some growing evidence that parents who "hover" over their college-age children (particularly as it relates to their educational experience) are actually helping their children. The 2007 National Survey of Student Engagement found that "Helicoptered" college students were more deeply engaged and "more satisfied with every aspect of their college experience". (By the way, Mom and Dad, if you think you might be a Helicopter Parent you can take a test to see where you fall on the spectrum between "Thanks, Mom!" and "Back off already!").
When it comes time for the job search, however, new graduates (and even current students pursuing internships) need to begin to "ground" their parents and take the initiative or risk losing their credibility as a professional in the eyes of some recruiters.
Millennial Negative #2: You are too attached to your parents.
You call them (or they call you) multiple times a day. You don't (or can't) make any major decision without consulting them first. They have been heavily involved in every aspect of your life from birth through college.
A few select employers have started to adjust to this relatively new social order. A few of the firms we work with have now begun integrating the parents into the recruiting process. Some merely place a call to the parents to discuss the opportunity, others get more involved--actually interviewing the parents themselves. The thought seems to be that, since they know the students will consult with Mom and Dad, they better address them directly to make sure the message gets through correctly.
That being said, companies are not happy about the prospect of an over-involved parent. Most managers find it hard enough managing their employees without also having to manage a parent or two. Remember, they are hiring you not your parents. Even the firms who involve parents during the recruiting process still expect it to stop there. If your parent calls up to complain about your first performance review, or negotiate your raise don't expect that to leave a favorable impression with your employer.
So, how can you continue with our theme of "going against the grain" and present yourself to an employer during a job search in such a way that you deflect this potential negative?
Well, in this case, it is more about what you don't do (or say) than what you do.
1. Don't bring your parents along with you to a job fair or an interview.
Job fairs are essentially first interviews. They are your best chance to make a good initial impression. This is why you spend a lot of time preparing your resume in advance and dressing up in your best professional attire. Your goal is to convey the image that "I am a competent adult ready to contribute to your organization". Nothing will shatter that carefully crafted image faster than Mom standing next to you asking questions and handing over your resume instead of you. If you can't handle talking to a recruiter at a fair on your own, how can they trust you to interact with their clients alone? The same applies to interviews (unless, as noted earlier, the employer specifically invites them).
2. Don't answer behavioral interview questions by saying "I'd call my Mom".
Many times interviewers will ask "behavioral" questions where you must give examples of how you dealt with a situation in the past. The assumption being that you would approach the situation in a similar fashion in the future. Questions like "Tell me about a time when you had to manage a project where not everyone was carrying their fair share" might be a typical one. Again, the goal of the interview is to sell yourself as being a competent adult ready for the challenge. You can use questions like this to illustrate past successes and to demonstrate effective analytical, management and problem solving skills. Unless she happens to be a world famous expert on the particular topic at hand, you should avoid suggesting that your method of problem solving and conflict resolution involves Mom and a cellphone.
3. Don't let your parents directly negotiate your job offer.
You can, and should, have your parents (or other experienced worker) review any job offer you receive. Sometimes they can be pretty complicated, especially if you have never dealt with one before. Deciphering the relative value of different salary and benefit packages and determining if there is room for negotiation can be difficult even for experienced workers. However, any interaction with the actual employer should be between only the future employer and future employee. Don't undermine your credibility right when you are about to cross the finish line!
When it comes time for your job search, consult with your parents as much as you need to--they are a tremendous resource for you--but publicly you must stand on your own. Take their advice, make it your own and show the world that you are ready!